All Time Famous Quotes By Aziz Ansari

Aziz Ansari, born on February 23, 1983, in Columbia, South Carolina, is an American comedian, actor, and writer. He gained fame with stand-up specials like “Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening” and his role as Tom Haverford on Parks and Recreation. Ansari created and starred in the acclaimed Netflix series Master of None, winning an Emmy for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series. His work often explores themes of modern relationships and identity, blending humor with social commentary. Ansari is also known for his advocacy of diverse representation and social causes. His unique comedic style and insightful storytelling have made him a notable figure in entertainment.

Aziz Ansari Quotes

01. “Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.”
— Aziz Ansari

02. “When I’m dating someone, I have a list called my ‘Oh No Nos.’ If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving ’90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don’t even know who Ginuwine is.”
— Aziz Ansari

03. “Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you’ll get hired.”
— Aziz Ansari

04. “I have no interest in art. Let me clarify — I have no interest in non-nude images.”
— Aziz Ansari

05. “I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to ’cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.”
— Aziz Ansari

06. “I’m an optimist – I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.”
— Aziz Ansari

07. “I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an ‘ethnic comic’ or an ‘Asian comic.’ I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.”
— Aziz Ansari

08. “‘Zerts’ are what I call desserts. ‘Trée-trées’ are entrées. I call sandwiches ‘sammies,’ ‘sandoozles,’ or ‘Adam Sandlers.’ Air conditioners are ‘cool blasterz’ with a ‘z’ – I don’t know where that came from. I call cakes ‘big ol’ cookies.’ I call noodles ‘long-ass rice.’ Fried chicken is ‘fry-fry chicky-chick.’ Chicken parm is ‘chicky-chicky-parm-parm.’ Chicken cacciatore? ‘Chicky-cacc.’ I call eggs ‘pre-birds,’ or ‘future birds.’ Root beer is ‘super water.’ Tortillas are ‘bean blankets.’ And I call forks ‘food rakes.'”
— Aziz Ansari

09. “I spend so much time on the Internet…I feel like I’m a million pages into the worst book ever, and I’m never going to stop reading.”
— Aziz Ansari

10. “I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.”
— Aziz Ansari

11. “Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.”
— Aziz Ansari

12. “Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?”
— Aziz Ansari

13. “Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.”
— Aziz Ansari

14. “This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I’m constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I’ve been robbed twice.”
— Aziz Ansari

15. “The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you’re gay.”
— Aziz Ansari

16. “I went to a place recently I think is one of the most f**ked up places I’ve ever been to. I’m convinced this place is the epitome of American excess, of American greed. I’m talking about a place called Cold Stone Creamery. Whoa. If you have not been there, the basic gist of Cold Stone is that they take ice cream and then they just go ape sh*t with it.”
— Aziz Ansari

17. “You’ve got to be pretty confident that you’re good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I’ll be like, ‘Wow, those people are weird.'”
— Aziz Ansari

18. “Let’s have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting ‘Gangnam style!’ yelled at them by bros around the world.”
— Aziz Ansari

19. “One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it’s Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.”
— Aziz Ansari

20. “My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.”
— Aziz Ansari

21. “You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z.'”
— Aziz Ansari

22. “If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.”
— Aziz Ansari

23. “Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are… Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.”
— Aziz Ansari

24. “If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.”
— Aziz Ansari

25. “Why would anyone get married and have babies? That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard in my life. Or the scariest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
— Aziz Ansari