Bill Hicks (1961–1994) was an American stand-up comedian and social critic known for his incisive humor, scathing political commentary, and uncompromising honesty. Born in Georgia, Hicks began performing comedy in his teenage years and quickly gained recognition for his fearless approach to taboo subjects.
His thought-provoking material challenged societal norms, addressing topics such as politics, religion, consumerism, and the human condition with razor-sharp wit and intelligence. Despite his relatively short career, Hicks left a profound impact on the comedy world, influencing a generation of comedians with his unique blend of satire and social commentary.
Throughout his career, Hicks faced controversy and censorship due to the provocative nature of his material, but he remained steadfast in his commitment to free expression and truth-telling. His untimely death at the age of 32 robbed the world of a brilliant comedic mind, but his legacy continues to inspire and resonate with audiences who appreciate his uncompromising pursuit of truth through comedy.
Bill Hicks Quotes
1. “Don’t worry, don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.”
— Bill Hicks
2. “It’s just a ride.”
— Bill Hicks
3. “There are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.”
— Bill Hicks
4. “Humanity is just a virus with shoes.”
— Bill Hicks
5. “Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.”
— Bill Hicks
6. “Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.”
— Bill Hicks
7. “It’s all about money, not freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without money, okay?”
— Bill Hicks
8. “Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive.”
— Bill Hicks
9. “I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.”
— Bill Hicks
10. “I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.”
— Bill Hicks
11. “It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.”
— Bill Hicks
12. “Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.”
— Bill Hicks
13. “If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.”
— Bill Hicks
14. “I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.”
— Bill Hicks
15. “Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you.”
— Bill Hicks
16. “All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.”
— Bill Hicks
17. “I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.”
— Bill Hicks
18. “All governments are lying cocksuckers.”
— Bill Hicks
19. “I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.”
— Bill Hicks
20. “It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.”
— Bill Hicks
21. “No one can give you any answers. There aren’t any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.”
— Bill Hicks
22. “It’s not a war on drugs, it’s a war on personal freedom.”
— Bill Hicks
23. “What are you reading for?”
— Bill Hicks
24. “We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.”
— Bill Hicks
25. “We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.”
— Bill Hicks
26. “I don’t care if you’re obscene, filthy, horrendous – as long as you’re honest.”
— Bill Hicks
27. “I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.”
— Bill Hicks
28. “I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life.”
— Bill Hicks
29. “It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.”
— Bill Hicks
30. “The eyes of love see all of us as one.”
— Bill Hicks
31. “They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.”
— Bill Hicks
32. “You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it.”
— Bill Hicks
33. “Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.”
— Bill Hicks
34. “I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, ‘What’s wrong?’ Nothing. ‘Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.’ Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?”
— Bill Hicks
35. “You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.”
— Bill Hicks
36. “Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.”
— Bill Hicks
37. “Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I’ll prove it to you. You’re at a ball game or a concert, and someone’s really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?”
— Bill Hicks
38. “Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.”
— Bill Hicks
39. “Music is a great energizer. It’s a language everybody knows.”
— Bill Hicks
40. “Ever noticed that people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved?”
— Bill Hicks
41. “I ascribe to Mark Twain’s theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.”
— Bill Hicks
42. “Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.”
— Bill Hicks
43. “I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift.”
— Bill Hicks
44. “I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious…”
— Bill Hicks
45. “I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet.”
— Bill Hicks
46. “What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?”
— Bill Hicks
47. “The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.”
— Bill Hicks
48. “Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.”
— Bill Hicks
49. “Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.”
— Bill Hicks
50. “To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.”
— Bill Hicks
51. “That’s why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you’ve learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.”
— Bill Hicks
52. “Rock stars against drugs – that’s what we want, isn’t it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We’re partying now!”
— Bill Hicks
53. “If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour: don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.”
— Bill Hicks
54. “I’m just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.”
— Bill Hicks
55. “They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer.”
— Bill Hicks
56. “I loved when Bush came out and said, ‘We are losing the war against drugs.’ You know what that implies? There’s a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.”
— Bill Hicks
57. “I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.”
— Bill Hicks
58. “There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue – those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS – but they remain strangely silent…”
— Bill Hicks
59. “You are the imagination of yourself.”
— Bill Hicks
60. “Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren’t partyin’.”
— Bill Hicks
61. “It’s my object to be stared at like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick.”
— Bill Hicks
62. “We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?”
— Bill Hicks
63. “What does an atheist scream when they come?”
— Bill Hicks
64. “Good comedy helps people know they’re not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.”
— Bill Hicks
65. “If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.”
— Bill Hicks
66. “The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they’ve never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people’s minds, exposing them to the light.”
— Bill Hicks
67. “By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself.”
— Bill Hicks
68. “If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.”
— Bill Hicks
69. “Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.”
— Bill Hicks
70. “I wouldn’t give Satan a snowball’s chance in Hell against a woman’s ego…”
— Bill Hicks
71. “Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.”
— Bill Hicks
72. “Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who’ve helped me.”
— Bill Hicks
73. “Nonsmokers – this is for you and you only. Ready? Nonsmokers die every day. Sleep tight.”
— Bill Hicks
74. “If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.”
— Bill Hicks
75. “I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul.”
— Bill Hicks
76. “Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.”
— Bill Hicks
77. “People often ask me where I stand politically. It’s not that I disagree with Bush’s economic policy or his foreign policy; it’s that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.”
— Bill Hicks
78. “Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.”
— Bill Hicks
79. “BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.”
— Bill Hicks
80. “Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health nut. The plot thickens.”
— Bill Hicks
81. “Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.”
— Bill Hicks
82. “And I’m not getting laid! What am I doing wrong?”
— Bill Hicks
83. “You all saw him – he had a gun.”
— Bill Hicks
84. “Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.”
— Bill Hicks
85. “The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions.”
— Bill Hicks
86. “Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.”
— Bill Hicks
87. “Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.”
— Bill Hicks
88. “The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.”
— Bill Hicks
89. “Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.”
— Bill Hicks
90. “I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.”
— Bill Hicks
91. “I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself – to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.”
— Bill Hicks
92. “Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I’m a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.”
— Bill Hicks
93. “Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They’re sick, they’re not criminals. Sick people don’t get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.”
— Bill Hicks
94. “Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here’s my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride…”
— Bill Hicks
95. “It’s really weird how your life changes. Tonight I’m drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know?”
— Bill Hicks
96. “Been on what I call my Flying Saucer Tour – appearing in small Southern towns – in front of handfuls of hillbillies.”
— Bill Hicks
97. “I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That’s faith in action folks! You know he’s got God on his side.”
— Bill Hicks
98. “Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever.”
— Bill Hicks
99. “People always snap and think they’re Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?”
— Bill Hicks
100. “Right foot, left foot, hemorrhage.”
— Bill Hicks
101. “I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.”
— Bill Hicks
102. “Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions god’s infinite love.”
— Bill Hicks
103. “The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God’s infinite love. That’s the message we’re brought up with, isn’t it? Beleive or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options.”
— Bill Hicks
104. “My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.”
— Bill Hicks
105. “I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, “My dad can beat up your dad.” I’d say Yeah? When?”
— Bill Hicks
106. “It seems to me that there will be a point in out development or our evolution where you put your guns aside.”
— Bill Hicks
107. “I can’t believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.”
— Bill Hicks
108. “I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching. I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don’t think a Marlboro Light’s gonna faze him that much.”
— Bill Hicks
109. “I think it’s interesting how people act on their beliefs. A lot of Christians, for instance, wear crosses around their necks. Nice sentiment, but do you think when Jesus comes back, he’s really going to want to look at a cross?”
— Bill Hicks
110. “Why is pot against the law? It wouldn’t be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can’t make a profit off it, would it?”
— Bill Hicks
111. “I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.”
— Bill Hicks
112. “I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.”
— Bill Hicks
113. “As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.”
— Bill Hicks
114. “Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.”
— Bill Hicks
115. “A lotta Christians wear crosses ’round their necks; do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?”
— Bill Hicks
116. “Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.”
— Bill Hicks
117. “I am available for children’s parties, by the way…”
— Bill Hicks
118. “On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: “I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did.”
— Bill Hicks
119. “What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis, not the young, cool guy…”
— Bill Hicks
120. “We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn’t a hazard to this country-How’re we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?”
— Bill Hicks
121. “Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.”
— Bill Hicks
122. “Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.”
— Bill Hicks
123. “But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It’s no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.”
— Bill Hicks
124. “To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference.”
— Bill Hicks
125. “I used to drink, I did. I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing in their lights thinking I’d made it to the next club.”
— Bill Hicks
126. “I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.”
— Bill Hicks
127. “How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn’t that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy.”
— Bill Hicks
128. “You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.”
— Bill Hicks
129. “I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I’m fascinated by it. I’m fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.”
— Bill Hicks
130. “I’ve said all that I’ve had to say.”
— Bill Hicks
131. “Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?”
— Bill Hicks
132. “Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.”
— Bill Hicks
133. “How dare you have wino tell me not to do drugs.”
— Bill Hicks
134. “Freebird, the mantra of the moron.”
— Bill Hicks
135. “I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.”
— Bill Hicks
136. “So, it’s good to be here, wherever I am.”
— Bill Hicks
137. “I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.”
— Bill Hicks
138. “We’ll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God – I am killing me!”
— Bill Hicks
139. “I want my rockstars dead.”
— Bill Hicks
140. “Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.”
— Bill Hicks
141. “I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you’d be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.”
— Bill Hicks
142. “You see, Jung had this idea of a Collective Unconscious which mankind shared… and I agree. But! I think this Collective Mind is supposed to be conscious, not unconscious! And that is our job as the Agents of Evolution to enlighten – to bring light into the dark corners of that Netherworld and thus awaken our Mind to Truth and complete the circle that was broken with the dream of our fall from Grace.”
— Bill Hicks
143. “She was a southern girl, which is the same as saying she was insane.”
— Bill Hicks
144. “When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.”
— Bill Hicks
145. “And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else’s, I’m happy to do it.”
— Bill Hicks
146. “Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.”
— Bill Hicks
147. “She was a southern girl, which is the same as saying she was insane. All southern women are insane. Some are cold blooded killers and some are harmless eccentrics, but the best of the breed exhibit both of these characteristics and always the one you expect the least at the time you least expect it.”
— Bill Hicks
148. “Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?”
— Bill Hicks
149. “People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.”
— Bill Hicks
150. “Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.”
— Bill Hicks
